Do you remember any particular turning point in your life?
Maybe a time when you ended a bad relationship? Or left a job that no longer fulfilled you?
This has been the Year of the Turning Point for me in a bunch of different ways.
I’ve always talked big about culling relationships that no longer served me, but really, I’m a big old wimp. I really don’t like to let go of anyone, so I don’t. I think about it, but that’s about it. I’ll reach out from time to time and think that the friendship is still viable, even when it is clearly not. Its season is over. Still, I’m there, thinking of reasons, making up excuses.
But this year, more than any other, friendships that have outlived their usefulness have nagged at me. You know which ones I mean. The “friends” who are passive-aggressive. Or the ones who simply do not give back what you give and who make excuses. The ones who always compare. The ones you can’t imagine being there for you if you need them. And then, thanks to this election, there are the ones whose ugliness has become unmistakeable and can no longer be disguised.
So, before the election, this is what I wrote: I think I’m done. I think I reached the turning point. Finally. I hesitate to make the outright, bold statement that I am because I know what I softie I am. How much I hate to jettison people who once meant something to me. I’m thinking I need a little encouragement to stick to it,
No more wishy-washy
But the morning after Election Day, I lost my wishy-washy attitude about it. I AM DONE. No wish-wash about it. Some folks are just not worth the time and effort I’ve put into our friendship.
it’s so very clear that I’m past due to let some go to focus on the ones who really mean something. Who are reciprocal in their love and attention. And I have a lot of those.
So, I blocked a couple people on social media. Unfriended others. Unfollowed even more. Have determined not to initiate coffee dates, hikes or any other outing with that short list of people who simply no longer belong in my life. So, buh-bye to them.
My focus is now on only those friends who have proven themselves to be true friends. And then, new friends, because it turns out there are PLENTY of like-minded women and men in my local Pantsuit Nation group and I’ve begun to connect with them. I’m liking what I see!
So I’d love to hear your stories of a time when you reached a turning point like mine, what you did, how it went and how you felt.