The Mexican Day of the Dead is actually several days, during which loved ones who have transitioned are honored with altars, offerings and visits to the cemetery. During these days, the spirits of the dead are invited to come for a visit. The holiday falls within my own biggest season of loss: my . . .
Walking down the hall in my temporary hotel quarters in my hometown, a discarded star on the carpet caught the light and my attention. It's been there for at least several weeks, resisting suitcase wheels, footfalls, vacuuming. Every day I'd notice it as I went to my rooms. As I write, it's still . . .
The audio in my car is always on, and on LOUD. I've been dancing (and car-dancing) my way through my time in my hometown, preparing for closing on our new second home (which already should have occurred as you read this). "Of course you are!" you might say. "You've got a loving husband, two . . .
This is for Michael, Gregory, Bonnie, Michele, Scott, bestie Lee, Maui girls Susan and Alice, Cheri, Joanne, MaryLou and for my beloved Marilyn, who is now on the other side but still always present. I live a life of the mind and the heart. It is not for everyone. Sometimes it's a challenge even . . .
“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” Every writer I know loves this quote from writer Annie LaMott. We do own our experiences and we absolutely write about them, at least in my genre, which is . . .
What kind of world do we want to leave our children and grandchildren? And how do we communicate our values to them? What are we teaching our children when there are people in our (and their) sphere that do not reflect our values? Values. They're the crux of today's politics. I wonder how so . . .
When someone I care about has lost a loved one I want to honor them with a thoughtful and unique sympathy gift. Something more than flowers or a charitable donation. A condolence gift that is loving and helpful. An appropriate sympathy gift. But what really helps? Grief is a walk we must take . . .
If you had asked me months ago if I thought looking within was challenging I'd have said "absolutely not!" Well, not so damn fast. I'm in my hometown, 2,500+ miles away from my husband and dogs, isolated in a hotel room much of the time, with nothing to do think. And write. On top of that, I am . . .
The cruelty in the world is unbearable to those of us who feel things deeply. Personal and societal, it's all the same. Cruelty is cruelty. More often than not, cruelty is unintentional. That's not always the case, but it is absolutely true that when people are treated cruelly, especially as . . .
What if you'd spent 20 years as an artist and writer whose evocative words and accompanying art touched such a chord they brought you an international following? What if your words spoke to thousands, tens of thousands or even more, touched them so much that they purchased your very affordable . . .
The river that flows in you also flows in me. ~Kabir While I understand the politics of fear intellectually, it is very hard to understand how many in our country have fallen prey to it. It's like they've drunk some strange brew that alters their view of reality. Of course, they'd say the same . . .
Let me introduce you to an amazing guy. This man provides the foundation for my life. He is, to cut to the chase, amazing. I have known him since he was 21 years old (and I was 18) so I know just how amazing he is. He is an amazing doggie dad to our two rescues...and they absolutely adore him. He . . .
This has been my view from my life in quarantine, from my seat at the desk in my two-room accommodations at a Residence Inn in Rochester, NY. That's my car, at which I looked longingly every day after it arrived (earlier than expected.) I thought I'd have a lot to say about my two weeks closeted in . . .
This is another post written BC--Before Covid. But with so much time on our hands, why not talk about something other than our situation. And of course, it's unlikely we'll have football at all this year. So a perfect time to rethink it. Few things are as American as football. Fans are fanatic . . .
Is this the new normal? Blogging now from our hometown of Rochester, NY, where we've decided to wait out the pandemic. After a promising early experience with controlling the pandemic, our beloved California is now worst in the nation. Since we are finishing a second home in Rochester, we've . . .
The unexamined life is not worth living, Socrates said, famously. I say the examined life can be hell. But truth is, it's the only way I can live. It ain't for everyone, though, I know. It takes relentless honesty and continual introspection.* Those things are not for the faint of . . .
It's the thing about getting older--we get wiser. Usually. We realize we know less than we thought and in many cases we really know nothing. At least that's been true of me. I remember being in my early 20s and being far less able to take critical input than I am now. In fact, it didn't occur to me . . .
When I was not even 21 I left my hometown of Rochester, NY (the suburban town of Irondequoit, to be exact and EAST Irondequoit, to be precise.) I left to start a new life as a wife. My new husband was also a Rochesterian, and of Sicilian descent, like me. But our hometown couldn't hold us. There . . .
Yes, more thoughts from a cop. My conversation with my police officer friend is still going on, but this is the last installment of this particular interview. If you missed the first two parts, Part 1 is here and Part 2 is here. I encourage you to leave your questions below, on this post. There will . . .
If you didn’t see yesterday’s talk with a cop, Part 1, start there. If you did, here’s the rest of the story. Why would I talk to a cop? Because, as he says: “I’ve known Carol for years and she wanted this to be more of a conversation. She and I do not see eye to eye on everything, although we do . . .