Carol Cassara

Rock and roll, love and synchronicity

By 32 Comments

bompI’d like to thank the guy, who wrote the song
That made my baby fall in love with me

Most women who hear that my  husband and I remarried after 26 years apart are fascinated. How did that happen? they want to know.

That’s my question, too.  Because i have no idea.

Once he left back in 1980 I spent very little time looking back, not after the initial shock and the first few months. He’d moved on so I figured I should, too. And I did.

Although we were back in touch a decade later, it was very casually and during those two-and-a-half decades I never entertained a remarriage. Not once.

After all, when you believe that some options are closed to you, you move on. If you’re smart. I’m smart, so, that’s what I did.

And then, poof! There he was again.

Seriously? I thought.  SERIOUSLY??

And when I say Dip da dip da dip da dip….

Friends who have known me all this time get what a big deal his return was. I guarantee you they believe they know what the biggest change in my life was. But they’d be wrong. The biggest change was that his return put my life on a linear track for the first time.

Linear. Definitely a bit of an adjustment, because my life had been anything but linear and I liked not knowing what might come next. But life certainly stabilized with M back in it and I’m still adjusting to that part.

“He is a miracle in every way,”  a longtime friend said not too long ago. And when a miracle appears in your life, you shouldn’t question it. Right?

Not so fast. Eight years later I’m still asking the Universe, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? Or, really, what I’m asking is Who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?

Because i have no idea. None.  Why? Why? What does it mean?

Oh, stop asking the question and just enjoy it, you’re probably thinking. Yeah, well, that’s not my way. I’m like a pesky two-year-old and here’s why:

I didn’t wish, pray, visualize or even think about it.  This is the very first thing in my life that I had absolutely nothing to do with. BAM! It just happened.

You know I mean it from the bottom of my Boogity boogity boogity shoo!

I’ve long believed in self-determination. Making it happen. So there are very few things that I haven’t made happen for myself. I was responsible for myself, so if I wanted something, I went after it. It’s always been that way. I created my life and all the things in it, including the characters. I chose them. Purposely. For good and bad.

But the puzzling thing about my husband’s return is that I didn’t create it. I had nothing to do with it

It was a gift.

And because I didn’t make it happen, didn’t even fantasize about it, I simply can not grasp it. There is no logical explanation or a framework I can wrap around it that makes sense. Where I can say, “Oh yeahhh, THAT’S why!”

It’s an amazing mystery.

So if you’re going to admonish me to lay back and enjoy it, just know that isn’t my way.  I work at stuff, gnaw at it, analyze it, massage it, examine it, test it.

Don’t get me wrong, I still believe in and marvel at the synchronicity of life.  I do believe some things don’t have logical explanations.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not looking for one.

<grin>

Rama lama ding dong forever!

Who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?
Who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong?
Who put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop?
Who put the dip in the dip da dip da dip?

Who was that man? I’d like to shake his hand
He made my baby fall in love with me

When my baby heard bomp bah bah bomp bah bomp bah bomp bomp
Every word went straight into her heart
And when she heard them singing rama lama lama lama lama ding dong
She said we’d never have to part

Well, who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?
Who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong?
Who put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop?
Who put the dip in the dip da dip da dip?

Who was that man? I’d like to shake his hand
He made my baby fall in love with me

Each time that we’re alone bugdi bugdi bugdi bugdi bugdi bugdi shoo
Sets my baby’s heart all aglow
And every time we dance to dip da dip da dip, dip da dip da dip
She always says she loves me so
Who put the bomp.

Comments

  1. I think it’s lovely when things come together better than we ever thought or planned. Some of the best events in my life have come when I least expected them. I believe in God and his providence – that helps a bit, but a lot of the time I’ll grab any great stuff and just be glad it happened to me. I’m so pleased you got another chance and it’s worked out so well for you both 🙂
    Leanne recently posted…MIDLIFE ROCKS! ~ True FriendshipMy Profile

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  2. How nice that you two were able to reconcile and find a way back to eachother. It definitely sounds like things are going well for you! Somehow the stars were aligned for your paths to cross again a magical way. Surprises can leave us wondering but they also can leave an impression on us that can change the direction of our lives for the better. Great post!

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  5. It’s awesome when things come together. If it’s meant to be, and you’re open to it, it will be. That’s the thing….you have to be open to it. So, my dear, you did do something; you opened your mind, soul and heart. Bam! Happy for you!
    Tammy recently posted…When Love Fails You …My Profile

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  9. When that happens to me I keep telling myself that God/the universe or whatever corrected a wrong. Sometimes it takes 2 1/2 decades but oh how sweet it is when it happens. Like you I always want a definitive answer and I used to not be able to rest until I had it. Now I just try to accept my good fortune. Not always easy but I keep trying.
    Doreen McGettigan recently posted…What is a writing coach and do you need one?My Profile

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  10. THE very best things in life seem to be those we don’t create, those that happen organically without us forcing and fitting this and that into spaces and places they weren’t meant to be. Sounds like you and your hubby were indeed meant to be. Love your story! And your admission the gift just plain happened.
    Lisa at Grandma’s Briefs recently posted…Farewell from the ranchMy Profile

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  24. This is a lovely story no matter how it happened. I don’t believe everything happens for a reason and I do believe that wonderful things happen when we least expect it and without our effort. So many times when I’ve been invested in an outcome and have let go, and for me that means letting God work on my behalf, much better things have happened. Come to think of it, I need to practice up on this technique of letting go. Thanks for the reminder and so happy for you and your bomp bah bomp bah bomp bomp!
    Molly Stevens recently posted…Rise and shine, it’s potato pickin’ timeMy Profile

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