That’s the funny thing about feelings.
We think if we push them down hard enough, they’ll disappear.
NBC’s Chicago Med is a different brand of hospital drama. Along with medication, lots of wisdom is dispensed, usually in the voice of psychiatrist Dr. Charles, an expert in feelings.
Watching the show the other week, I heard him make that very sage observation about feelings and immediately thought of grief. Of how many folks seem to be uncomfortable with the emotion of grief and even more uncomfortable if it lasts more than a couple of months.
How many times have we heard “she should be over it by now”–usually said by someone who is uncomfortable with feelings, referring to grief another feels over a loved one who has died.
Get over it? It’s just not that simple.
Grief is a sign that we’ve loved deeply and that we miss that tangible aspects of that love. We simply don’t “get over it.” We NEVER get over it.
The best we can hope for is that over time, active grieving dissipates. And it does. But grief never goes away. Even if we try to push those feelings down. To stuff them. To not feel them. Even then.
But it’s not healthy to stuff grief. It’s healthy to give it voice–both to ourselves and out loud to trusted friends and family. And there are other ways to let those feelings out, too.
Which is why I have developed three products for people who are grieving: a guided journal, affirmation cards and an audio with guided imagery through grief.
Emotions heal when they are heard & validated
The guided imagery Coping with Grief audio HERE is my favorite of the products I offer. It’s a half hour experience in which the listener achieves a deep state of relaxation and then, has a conversation with their loved one. A talk during which they can say anything they like, including anything they wish they’d said when their loved one was alive.
This beautiful exercise, which I’ve done myself several times, allows the listener to give voice to his or her emotions in a healthy and useful way. It can be used over and over, as many times as one likes. I’ve used it once for each of three loved ones who are now on the other side.
During the imagery, I fully felt my love for them and my grief at their loss. I said what I needed to say, cried many tears and experienced a beautiful release. My grief didn’t disappear–but the exercise in the audio recording provided a focal point for it: a focal point that allowed me to feel the emotions fully.
The objective is to find an outlet for our grief, to validate it ourselves and over time, to allow it to transform. I’ll do the exercise again and again, whenever I feel I have more to say to my loved ones.
If you’d like to learn more about the audio, the Guided Journal Through Grief and the Releasing Grief Affirmation Cards, visit the Grief tab at A Healing Spirit, HERE. Feel free to explore everything on offer.