One of the people dearest to my heart said that to me the other day. She’d just split with a long-time guy, someone she cared deeply for, but didn’t love in that special, sizzling kind of way. She’d been putting off this breakup for, well, years. Yes, many years. Even thought finding love was high on her priority list.
“To tell you the truth,” she said, “I’m a little afraid of being alone.”
Sigh. I call your attention back to THIS post, not too long ago.
I would guess that fear of being alone is what keeps many women in their 50s and 60s in marriages that have, for lack of a better term, expired. Or in marriages that lack that certain something that keeps us alive and interested.
I understand it. I was in one of those once. Not from fear of being alone. No, I had a “better” reason. But that story’s for another time.
But back to my dear one.
“You know, Carol,” she said, “there are a lot of a**holes out there.”
I know, I know, lots of you think that. And it’s true: when it comes to finding love, yes. there ARE a lot of **holes out there.
But there are far more nice guys than there are a**holes. Why is the default thinking that you’re going to run into one of the bad ones? Why isn’t it “I’m going to meet a really wonderful guy!”
That’s my question.
Listen. If you start out your dating career expecting to meet a**holes, then that’s who you’ll meet.
(shaking my head) By now we should all understand how important self-talk is. After all, we know the importance of affirmations, right?
So here’s an affirmation: “I’m going to meet the most wonderful guy who is a perfect fit for me.”
Repeat that every day.
It’s as good at warding off a**holes as holding a crucifix up to a vampire.