I am a person who needs her space.
I have always been that person. Always.
When my writing class laments the solitude of writing, I celebrate it.
When class members want to get together online to write and then chat a little, in between our solitary writing sessions, my feelings are a mix of FOMO (fear of missing out) and obligation: Is it important for me to include myself in these gatherings? I ask myself. Should I make an appearance, just to be collegial?
The thing is, I have no trouble sitting alone in my little office for eight or 10 hours, just writing. All by myself.
In fact, I LOVE it.
When a classmate says she has trouble motivating herself to write, it’s puzzling. I am what they call “self-motivated.” I might have other troubles, but not that one.
I can not remember a single time I dreaded sitting down to write something for myself. Or had “writer’s block.” I don’t even know what it is, to be honest.
I can not recall ever wanting to sit and write in the company of others. I need my own private space and time to think and then to write.
That is not to say that I do not enjoy our weekly classes that sometimes run almost six hours, during which we read our work and give and receive feedback. I love class time!
But it is not writing time. For that? I need my space.
When a friend asks if we should include others in a get-together I decline more times than not, saying that I much prefer having meaningful conversations a deux.
“What do you mean?” she protests. “I have meaningful conversations in groups!”
Precisely. YOU do. I do not.
I am, you might say, an extroverted introvert. Put me in a group and I’ll chat and be personable. But all the while I’ll wish I were lounging in my jammies with my friend or lover or debating the socio-political implications of racism with a nephew. Or maybe, binge-watching Formula 1 races. Or reading a riveting book.
I am here to say that if you need your space, you should take your space. Because I think it’s perfectly healthy to spend time alone and, more importantly, to enjoy time alone.
What do YOU think?