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Does unconditional love exist?

July 15, 2016 By Carol Cassara 44 Comments

no-unconditional-loveA wise friend commented the other day: “Sometimes, unconditional love comes with conditions.”

He threw it out there, almost without thinking, but I DID think about it.

It was a provocative statement, because it implies that there may be no unconditional love.

Of course, we believe unconditional love is the gold standard. Could it be that there is no such thing as unconditional love?

Maybe it’s rare, if it exists at all.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject.

I’d also love to hear the most profound thing anyone’s said to you. Because if we listen, profundity is out there, and in the most unassuming of places.

Thank you.

 

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Love

Comments

  1. Robin herman says

    July 15, 2016 at 8:53 am

    There certainly is unconditional instinct such as when a parent stands between a child and danger. Perhaps only dogs exhibit unconditional “love” and even then it’s really just a survival strategy. Human love requires reciprocity. To love others unconditionally is actually narcissism by another name – a projection.
    As for profound words, once in my 30s when I was facing a life-changing difficulty a friend advised: “The only way out is through”. The phrase has given me determination and courage in other situations since.

    Reply
  2. Leanne says

    July 15, 2016 at 9:00 am

    I don’t think we can achieve unconditional love in our human frailty. No matter how altruistic we may think our love is, there would always be a line in the sand somewhere if we looked for it. I can’t think of any profundity I’ve been exposed to lately – just the mundane everyday stuff!
    Leanne recently posted…STEP #6 ON THE JOURNEY TO HAPPINESS ~ LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONSMy Profile

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  3. pia says

    July 15, 2016 at 10:37 am

    I loved somebody deeply when I was young. Then I realized we weren’t meant to be romantic lovers and made that plain.

    But 40something years later or 30something since the official end or….we are each others biggest boosters.

    We see past each others faults to our good parts, Because in our hearts the other is 19 forever with warts and wrinkles and reality, we can encourage the other, give advice nobody else could, tear apart and help put together each others work.

    Unconditional in the traditional sense? Hell no. Unconditional in a more important sense that I still can’t really explain as I don’t really understand it. Hell yes!
    pia recently posted…I Come In Peace: We Are All AmericanMy Profile

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  4. Michele says

    July 15, 2016 at 1:08 pm

    Loving someone itself is a condition so this is a chicken or egg conundrum! I would say there are always conditions.
    Michele recently posted…Find What Fills Your CupMy Profile

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  5. Felicity says

    July 15, 2016 at 1:15 pm

    It has taken years to understand it, but this: “Listen to what other say about themselves.” There lies truth.

    Reply
  6. Barbara says

    July 15, 2016 at 1:53 pm

    I don’t think I’ve ever believed in truly unconditional love. It’s asking too much. I believe what you give from your heart comes back to you.
    b
    Barbara recently posted…Birthdays and BloggingMy Profile

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  7. Marcia @ Menopausal Mother says

    July 15, 2016 at 1:57 pm

    Unconditional love means trust and acceptance of everything they do, coupled with understanding and compassion.This is very hard to do once you’ve been burned, as most of us have. I think though that it DOES exist—especially between mothers and their children.

    Reply
  8. tara pittman says

    July 15, 2016 at 2:07 pm

    Yes it does exist. My husband loves me even after I yell at him. I love my kids no matter what.
    tara pittman recently posted…My Walking To Running Journey After My InjuriesMy Profile

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  9. Walker Thornton says

    July 15, 2016 at 3:15 pm

    Maybe unconditional love is something we have to choose to do. To stand strong in the face of the little and bigger things that we might not like in another because we have made a choice to love?
    Love with conditions is pretty flawed, when you think about it.
    Walker Thornton recently posted…Currently: July 2016My Profile

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    • Carol Cassara says

      July 15, 2016 at 7:14 pm

      I think your thought is very profound, Walker.

      Reply
  10. Mithra Ballesteros says

    July 15, 2016 at 8:50 pm

    What an interesting ice breaker. I hope I can remember this and pose it at the next awkward family reunion. I wonder if unconditional love exists only in our hearts, not in our actions. We form beliefs that live inside ourselves, but sometimes those beliefs, when tested, don’t make the leap from abstract thought to concrete behavior. So perhaps only in theory, in memory, or in our dreams does unconditional love flourish.

    Reply
    • Laura Lee Carter says

      July 16, 2016 at 9:17 am

      LOL! Love the idea of bringing this up at a family reunion! I’m actually broaching this subject right now with my very judgmental older sister…we haven’t spoken in a couple years because she sees her role as criticizing me every chance she gets!
      Laura Lee Carter recently posted…Oh, the lives that could have been…My Profile

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  11. Agnes Dela Cruz says

    July 15, 2016 at 9:19 pm

    Unconditional love do really exist to some people. We cannot hide the fact when you are in that situation. 🙂
    Agnes Dela Cruz recently posted…Roof Top Pool + Mongolian Dinner Buffet WeekendMy Profile

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  12. Ali says

    July 15, 2016 at 9:59 pm

    Love almost always comes with conditions and I think it should. One shouldn’t allow others to walk all over them or abuse them. You might love them, but you need to respect yourself more.

    Reply
  13. michelle mink says

    July 16, 2016 at 12:58 am

    Well I believe that we can strive for unconditional love. However, the only unconditional love I think exists is from God.
    michelle mink recently posted…5 Ways to Save on Travel with Groupon CouponsMy Profile

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  14. Melanie Smith says

    July 16, 2016 at 1:44 am

    It really exist! I started beliving in unconditional love becoming a mom. I love my husband so much, but you know what is unconditional love when you have a son.
    Melanie Smith recently posted…Iced Coffee Ice CreamMy Profile

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  15. Nicole Escat says

    July 16, 2016 at 5:03 am

    I do believe that it really exist. Looking up at our Creator from above, that’s one of the proofs I had.

    Reply
  16. Azlin Bloor says

    July 16, 2016 at 8:52 am

    I think the only unconditional love that exists is the love that a child feels for its parent. Of course this holds true for the love many parents feel for their children too but we’ve all heard the horror stories, which is why I say many and not all parents. Sadly.
    Azlin Bloor recently posted…Pink Zebra Cake – a step by step tutorialMy Profile

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  17. Laura Lee Carter says

    July 16, 2016 at 9:06 am

    I was raised with very conditional love and thought that was the best I could expect from human beings. Then I met my new husband eleven years ago, at age 49. Mike gives me unconditional love everyday. That is why I now appreciate this quote from Herman Hesse:
    “If I know what love is, it is because of you”
    . I think unconditional love is extremely rare, but possible from the best of human beings.I have felt it from only a few people in my life.I learned about it from a marvelous therapist in my thirties and then started seeking it out.
    Laura Lee Carter recently posted…Oh, the lives that could have been…My Profile

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  18. Laura Lee Carter says

    July 16, 2016 at 9:18 am

    Thanks Carol for this thought-provoking and revealing topic for discussion!
    Laura Lee Carter recently posted…Oh, the lives that could have been…My Profile

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  19. Karlyn Cruz says

    July 16, 2016 at 9:24 am

    I do believe in unconditional love. Seeing your children grow and making mistakes but despite that, you love them perfectly!

    Reply
  20. Donna says

    July 16, 2016 at 11:52 am

    Wonderful thoughts….I also believe unconditional love exists, but I also think only God has that ability. We are imperfect souls searching for perfection that will come after a few more million milleneau…but we have the example. I strive for uncondional love but as of yet it hasn’t been tested very much in the relationships I find most dear.I am loved by my husband and family and that is fine for me. I don’t have much family…as for me I forgive pretty easily, and avoid people I percieve don’t like me very much. I subconsciously think I am doing them a favor. That last bit is leftover from a childhood where I never felt anyone was happy with me ever. As for a profundity? One was “slow and steady wins the race” I liked that so much I gave turtles to each one of my children when they graduated from high school to remind them of that. My life has been a very slow process, but a good process. I am grateful for the ups and downs of it all. Love to you my friend
    Donna recently posted…Our Weaknesses Can be our StrengthsMy Profile

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  21. Amy Jones says

    July 16, 2016 at 4:04 pm

    This is a really interesting subject I’ve never thought about. A great piece of information! Thanks a lot for sharing it
    Amy Jones recently posted…How to Feel Confidently Bold When You Have a Packed DayMy Profile

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  22. Amer Phils says

    July 16, 2016 at 7:06 pm

    According to Grant Gurmundson… “Love is unconditional, relationships are not.” Maybe if you’re parent,, yeah!

    Reply
  23. Courtney Gillard says

    July 17, 2016 at 12:44 am

    I do believe! Love can be in any form but the greatest love is the unconditional love. You just love someone with whatever state your relationship goes.

    Reply
  24. Liz Mays says

    July 17, 2016 at 10:17 am

    I certainly feel it toward my children, but I can’t say I’ve ever had that with romance. I’m not sure it’s possible?!
    Liz Mays recently posted…2 Day Detox Diet – Five Reasons It’s Worth TryingMy Profile

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  25. oana79 says

    July 17, 2016 at 10:53 am

    I do think unconditional love exists: the love of a mother is almost always unconditional and pure.

    Reply
  26. anna nuttall says

    July 17, 2016 at 12:17 pm

    I feel it toward my husband and he feel it to me. It when you connect in body, mind and soul. xx
    anna nuttall recently posted…How to stay positive in 5 easy stepsMy Profile

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  27. Elizabeth O. says

    July 17, 2016 at 12:38 pm

    I would like to think that it’s how you view it. Unconditional love is something that people can definitely give if they love purely, without any intentions, but as human beings we are also prone to expecting something in return.

    Reply
  28. Enricoh Alfonzo says

    July 17, 2016 at 4:26 pm

    my mother is where i have learned what the true meaning of unconditional love is to give so selflessly without any expectation of a return.

    Reply
  29. Ana De- Jesus says

    July 17, 2016 at 4:27 pm

    Sometimes it is hard to wonder whether unconditional love exists in a world that is so motivated by hate. I do think it does exist though.
    Ana De- Jesus recently posted…A Letter To My Eighteen Year Old SelfMy Profile

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  30. Lalia Frolick says

    July 17, 2016 at 8:38 pm

    The way I think of it is that there certainly is unconditional love. But it becomes an abusive or otherwise harmful form of love if it is never reciprocated. A parent is a perfect example: take an instance where a parent’s unconditional love is not expressed solely through positive means (as we often think of it), but instead in the form of a painful lesson. Taught by the parent to the child for the child’s wellbeing, even though it may pain the parent to upset their child in any way, they are every bit as essential to helping the child become a good adult.
    Lalia Frolick recently posted…Celebrating South Sudan’s 5th Birthday with CAREMy Profile

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  31. Life as a Convert says

    July 17, 2016 at 11:26 pm

    I think Jesus and our Heavenly Father are the only ones who can love us unconditionally. Humans always put conditions on things, even if they don’t intend to.
    Life as a Convert recently posted…4-H Poultry Chain – First Time Chicken OwnersMy Profile

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  32. cris says

    July 18, 2016 at 4:37 am

    I didn’t think it existed until my first born…now I’m without doubt it does.
    cris recently posted…PokĂ©mon Go – The Game that mirrors the life of a networking freelancerMy Profile

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  33. Mardene Carr says

    July 18, 2016 at 6:53 am

    I think it is very hard for any human being to truly have unconditional love. That is my humble opinion

    Reply
  34. Dawn McAlexander says

    July 18, 2016 at 9:01 am

    Unconditional love does exist. We get it from our pets. I have two little dogs that love me no matter what. I have sat on them (accidentally, of course), picked stuff out of their eyes and touched them where they are hurting, but they still come back to me, everyday. That is unconditional love.
    Dawn McAlexander recently posted…12 Yummy Flavors To Help You Celebrate National Ice Cream Month #sponsored #GraetersMy Profile

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  35. Mary-Anne at Breathing Life says

    July 18, 2016 at 9:55 pm

    I have been pondering this for about a year. I don’t think it is possible. At least not for me – I can care for someone, and not wish them ill, but unconditional love? If you treat me like shit it is really hard to say that I will love you regardless.
    Mary-Anne at Breathing Life recently posted…A Year of Projects – Week ThreeMy Profile

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  36. Eileen Kelly says

    July 19, 2016 at 12:54 am

    I believe it does exist maybe not for everyone but for me , yes! I love my family unconditionally. I have a close family member who is making wrong choices and I still choose to love her. I just continue to pray and hope she makes better choices. I will not stop loving her. I have taken on caring for her loved ones until she is better
    Eileen Kelly recently posted…Detox Lemon Ginger Green TeaMy Profile

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  37. Marcy says

    July 19, 2016 at 7:52 am

    Wow, I have never really spent much time thinking about this before. I do think unconditional love exists between a parent and a child. Beyond that..I’m not sure?

    Reply
  38. Marielle Altenor says

    July 19, 2016 at 12:00 pm

    That’s interesting. I honestly do think that unconditional love exists. For me I know that to be true when I look at my babies.
    Marielle Altenor recently posted…Tips For Taking Care Of Your Hair In The Summer + HASK Hair Care ReviewMy Profile

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  39. Martina Williams says

    July 20, 2016 at 5:56 am

    I thin that the only unconditional love is between a mother and her child. All the other love has some interests in the middle, even if we see/feel them or not.
    Martina Williams recently posted…PPI and Marmite are similar. You either love it or you hate itMy Profile

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  40. Lisa Rios says

    July 20, 2016 at 6:15 am

    I always feel that Unconditional love exists anytime as I have been experiencing it over the years with my husband who has been always calm, composed & caring despite some misunderstanding that we come across.

    Reply
  41. Cathy Mini says

    July 20, 2016 at 10:13 am

    In terms of romance, unconditional love is achievable but after putting a lot of effort into it. However, in terms of towards a child, I think unconditional love comes naturally.

    Reply
  42. reena santos says

    July 22, 2016 at 9:03 pm

    I believe that unconditional love can only parents can give to there children. but loving someone this not really exist.

    Reply

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