“Last year you decided to weed out people who weren’t reciprocal, and you did,” my husband reminded me at the end of December. “So what’s your goal for this year?”
What? I hadn’t remembered last year’s goal.
I’m not big on annual resolutions or even a word for the year but weeding out was something that had to happen for my own happiness and in fact, I did it. I let go of two friendships because I saw that I was giving and giving but they were either not giving back OR being passive aggressive. Buh-bye!
And you know what? I was much happier for having done that. I lost nothing. What I gained was more time to spend with friends who gave back.
Won’t be held hostage
This year, I told my husband that I planned to stop being held hostage by the limitations of others. People who were run by all the reasons they “can’t” do something. People who say they “don’t plan.” Or don’t “plan in advance.” People who sometimes were so touchy I felt like I had to walk on eggshells with them. I’d found myself waiting around for them to be “in or out” or for them to be in a better mood so I could discuss something with them.
People standing in the way of my own plans.
I know, I know. If you know me, the fact that I let this happen is probably a surprise. It might not seem to be “like” me. But it’s true. I’ve walked on eggshells, I’ve put off my own plans while others tried to get their shiz together.
No. No more. This life is finite and I have things to do. Either you want to do them, too, or you don’t. But I’m going forward with my own plans.
Love it when a plan comes together
And in fact, that began just before the end of last year. It felt good.It worked out.
Now I’m mulling around another thought. I’m pretty frustrated that my local tribe has all moved away and my current tribe is pretty global. Which makes it hard to go grab a cup of coffee together. Oh, we stay closely in touch. But I want more.
I’ve been doing some consulting for a developer of Active 55+ communities and we love the idea of moving somewhere where we’d find people in our cohort. The trouble is that most of these communities aren’t that close to major urban centers. And I’ll be honest: as we age, access to world-class medical care is increasingly important. So we’re working through what this might mean to our future–maybe a move to another state but still in the West.
And then there’s the gay husband
Gay husband weighed in: “You do better with guys,” he said. “I think you should join some gay male meetups.”
Well, that’s a thought.
If you’ve got any thoughts of your own, I’d love to hear them. And maybe you’re inclined to visit my business page, A Healing Spirit.