Some time in the 80s, a friend’s little girl thought Creedence Clearwater Revival sang “There’s a bathroom on the right.” The song was Bad Moon Rising and of course, the misheard lyric was “There’s a bad moon on the rise.”
Don’t you love those old songs with unintelligible lyrics? So we can make up our own? I listened to Van Morrison’s Brown-eyed Girl hundreds of times … but it wasn’t until a few years ago that I realized he sang “our hearts a thumpin and you, my brown-eyed girl” instead of…well, I would always mumble something equally unintelligible but phonetically related to a-thumpin.
Which leads me to some of the other, commonly misheard lyrics. Let’s see if you know them:
“On a dark desert highway/Cool Whip in my hair…”
Yes, it’s the Eagles and their Hotel California, but not the right lyric. Do you know what the correct one is?
“See that girl /watch her scream /kicking the dancing queen…”
That is NOT what Abba had in mind for Dancing Queen!
“Two chickens to paralyze…”
Quick! Call the Humane Society! Do you know the song and the right words?
“The girl with colitis goes by…”
Now that’s a good one, do you know it?
“I lost on Jeopardy, baby, oooh..”
The old icon of a show got a bit of a boost when we misheard Greg Kihn ‘s lyrics.
“Like a virgin touched for the 31st time….”
How true this might be of Madonna, but it’s not what she sang.
“Might as well face it you’re a dick with a glove….”
You know how many times I’ve wanted to say that to a man? The first time I saw this misheard lyric quote I spit out my iced tea.
“Count the head lice on the highway…”
Now that would be some tedious work. What’s the song and the right words?
“Wrapped up like a douche, another rumor in the night…”
Maybe, like me, you wondered why they were singing about a douche, and also wondered what a douche wrapping is. It’s “revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night” but I never knew till I wrote this post.
“This is the dawning of the age of asparagus…”
Back in the Age of Aquarius, the many benefits of asparagus were not appreciated. I’m pretty sure that this misheard lyric is only misheard by non-Baby Boomer generations.
“…’scuse me while I kiss this guy…”
I would bet that this is a more contemporary “miss,” too, as back in The Day, we’d never think he’d sing about kissing the guy. I’ve felt like kissing the sky myself, in certain circumstances. But more often, I’ve kissed the guy. And still like to. And in that same vein:
“Hold me closer, Tony Danza…”
What’s the song and what does he sing?
And then, there’s this misheard lyrics video of a Creedence Clearwater song that made me laugh so hard I cried. It’s here, give a listen.
How about you? Got any misheard lyrics to add in the comments below?